Assessing
Yourself
Self Esteem
Goals |
Assessing
Yourself
Before delving into the self marketing tools for hiring a Personal
Assistance Service provider some self-reflection may be helpful in defining your wants and
needs; what you can and cannot compromise. If you are anxious to get started, see the task
list.
Everybody is different and has their own way of coming to terms with the
reality of their disability and situation. We all have certain emotional issues to weed
through with disability. It is not our intent to go into deep psychological processing
that would be more appropriate for a therapist. However, we would like to stress the value
of talking and connecting with other people with disabilities. Peer support can be helpful
in putting issues in perspective.
Many of us go through a process of shame about our needs. It is really hard feeling
exposed and vulnerable to other people. It can become more difficult the closer you get to
the more basic needs for physical survival. Some awareness of the emotional processes we
are going through as well as that of others, helps validate our feelings. Instead of
hiding and feeling shame about our needs we can focus our energies on stating our needs
and making more skillful choices in hiring a quality PAS provider.
The Personal Assistant we hire is going to have a significant impact on our functioning
and attitude. We need to put some thought and energy into what we need, how we want it
done and who in our lives we want doing it. What kinds of activities do we want to be
involved in and what kinds of people do we want surrounding ourselves.
Self Esteem
Self esteem means belief in oneself. Esteem means to value highly, to respect. Many of us
have dealt with the issue of trying to be normal when it reality in takes us more time to
perform tasks. Being realistic about our abilities involves self respect and high regard.
We cease comparing ourselves endlessly to arbitrary standards adopted by our society and
promoted endlessly through the media.
The myth is about body beautiful, body perfect. All cultures have a different definition
of what they value and hold in high regard, as do sub-cultures. People with disabilities
are beginning to talk about and recognize our sub-culture. We need to validate ourselves
and our abilities and accomplishments. We do have abilities and we are capable of
accomplishments. Being realistic does not mean lack of goals, dreams, and hopes in life.
The presence of disability does not mean the absence of these vital life links. It is not
suggested that you don't challenge yourself but rather that you cut yourself some slack in
terms of how much time it actually takes to get things done and where you need assistance,
i.e. PAS.
Goals
Goals are defined as an end one strives to attain. We all need something to live for, to
guide us, to keep us healthy, give our life meaning and a sense of connection with our
world. Because our disabilities all vary, our ways of expressing ourselves will be an
individual matter. Our goals will be individually set. This society values the work ethic.
It has been so narrowly defined even the able bodied population is re-defining what that
means. As people with disabilities we have been forced into thinking more creatively in
many respects. We have friends that don't fit the mold of this work ethic. That does not
invalidate their contributions to life.
You may decide you want to go to work, pursue a vocational goal, attend school or do
volunteer work. Have a plan for your days. It could be combination of these activities.
Sort out what you need financially and then make a plan and a commitment to yourself.
When you have direction it will make a difference in the people you will choose for your
personal assistant and the personal assistants who will want to work with you. Having
direction can be a simple thing but that does not diminish it's ability to be powerful.
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